Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Quaintly Unpretentious Conversations 7: The Demonic Bra

I threw open the bathroom door and started screaming bloody murder for my daughter, “Lillian! Lillian!”

She shouted back at me, “What is it mama? I’m eating.”

I shouted back, “Lily, you get in here right now.”

She ran to the bathroom door and said, “What’s wrong?

I replied completely flustered and aggravated, “Lillian, this bra is definitely not a 40D, it’s got to be either 36 or 38. My boobs have just been murdered by this horrible bra. Oh my God, and it even says 40D. Here, you can have it now, it’s definitely closer to your size.”

She looked at me and said, “Are you sure?”

I said, “Yes, I’m absolutely sure, my boobs felt like they were being tortured.”

So, I wrestled on one of my bras that I knew without a doubt fit me just fine, and I decided to measure the demonic medieval torture device that had crept into my collection; and sure enough it was a 36C. I haven’t wore that size since long before my children were born.

I’m quite sure there are some men out there that thinks this whole episode of my life is just ridiculous, and that’s fine; but I do dare you to buy a pair underwear that grips your balls in a vice before leaving some silly comment that is quite irrelevant. ©

Karen L. Fleming, Written: 8.18.13

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Quaintly Unpretentious Conversations 6: The Banana Soap

Elaine sent me some wonderful soaps and candles from Brazil at the end of last year, and the girls asked me if they could have some; so, I told them, "Yes, you can have one each."

Brianna stomped out of the bathroom soaking wet, dripping water all over the hardwood floors.  She leaned abruptly onto the evil black couch of endless laundry and in a huff with extreme discontent she said, "Mom, I'm out of my banana soap."

I looked at her and said, "Honey, just use the other soap."

She stared at me in disbelief raising her voice just a bit and said, "No!"

I replied a bit shocked, "Brianna what in the world do you expect me to do? Get on a plane and go to Brazil just to get you some banana soap?"

She looked at me very seriously and said, "Yes!"

She then turned to her right and marched directly back into my bathroom and slammed the door.

Now most people would think Brianna was being a bit bratty, but as soon as I heard the door slam shut I started laughing hysterically.

It’s quite obvious to me now, I gave birth to two little princesses that expect the best at all times; and honestly, to expect less in a person’s life is simply absurd unless of course that’s what a person truly wants. ;) © 

Karen L. Fleming

Originally written: 3:45 p.m. Est., 1.21.13

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Synthesize Our Axiom

Truth descends
On deaf ears at times
I could have screamed
Bloody murder
In your awaiting ear drums
And still somehow
You wouldn’t have heard me
It seems
Your notions of reality
Sway so far from mine
Holding on for years
At a time I have
You thought
All burdens rested
Solely on your shoulders
Alone; hence,
Yet, wrong again you are
Those chess pieces
Clumsily you arrange
Kings and Queens

My heart shattered
Evoking a tidal wave
Of cosmic gamma rays
Heard throughout
The infinite multiverse
A trusted ambassador
Informed me
When she visited
Tears fell as oceans
Even in densest dominions

A useless commerce of destruction
This symphony
You allege to know so well
Was composed as a union
Within in the confines
Of love’s pure embrace
Never to be shaken
And incomprehensible
To anyone beyond
Infinity’s perfected
Geometric configuration
From the very moment
The first universe
Gasped for the new brewed oxygen
We were and always have been ©

Karen L. Fleming, Brilliance Rains 

You can now purchase my previous poetry book Through the Silent Caldera at a discounted price on Amazon. Enjoy.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Quaintly Unpretentious Conversations 5: Our Hippy Cashier

Our favorite trips to any store is always late at night, we use to love going out in the early morning before the world’s economies collapsed just to shop in the peace and quiet without all the hustle and bustle. My most cherished time of course was always during the holiday season when I knew everyone else in the world was asleep and too tired to get up out of their beds. Now, we have to venture out right before the stores close because it seems like the whole world is now on a permanent curfew of midnight.

Our latest escapade to Walmart was to buy Brianna some more clothes since she seems to be growing in inches these days. Last year, Brianna grew four inches overnight and out grew all of her clothes including her shoes. I was a bit shocked when she came upstairs because she looked so different, so I decided the best thing to do was to measure her and sure enough she had grown leaps and bounds while she was sleeping. I said very awestruck, “Brianna, you keep growing like this and you’re going to be taller than me by next Christmas.”

Brianna just gave me a very understanding smile as she always does and a big hug.

We were standing patiently in line waiting to check out, when suddenly Lego House started playing on the television. I replied, “I can’t stand this song, it’s so damn depressing. Who in the world wants to be depressed for goodness sakes?”

Our cashier, which was in fact a reincarnated hippy from the sixties looked at me in desperation and said, “You have no idea. They keep playing it over and over.”

I looked at him with utter sympathy and said, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry that must be awful.”

He gave me a huge grin anyway and started checking us out, as if somehow the girls and I had made his day a bit better by acknowledging his musical hell.

I looked passed our cashier who had long light brown hair falling down his back in beautiful gracefully elegant curls, absolutely gorgeous teeth, and was quite handsomely tall and I said in pure excitement, “Oh my God, they have Star Trek and The Hobbit Pezs! I want them!”

He looked up from checking us out and started laughing, “So you like The Hobbit and Star Trek?”

I replied with a huge grin and laughing a bit, “Yes, I do. You should hear what Lily said about William Shatner.”

He gave us another gorgeous grin and I preceded to tell him of Lily’s comical perception of Mr. William Shatner aka James T. Kirk.

I pointed at Lily laughing at bit and said to him, “This is Lily. Do you remember when Weird or What was on Syfy?”

He smiled and nodded his head.

“She ran up the stairs and said, ‘Mom, have you seen the commercials for Weird or What? Are you recording it on the dvdr?’”

I replied calmly while I was working, “Yes. Why?"

Lily replied very ecstatically, “Mom, I think William Shatner is very crazy, weird, and funny. How old is he? He’s like forty right?”

I started laughing hysterically and I said, “No, he’s like eighty-three years old.”

She looked at me completely shocked by what I had just said then replied, “Are you sure?”

I stated with a large smile on my face, “Lillian, I grew up watching William Shatner on television when he was on Star Trek and he played James T. Kirk. I was in love with both him and Dr. Spock, everyone was. Come here and I’ll show you some pictures.”

Lillian couldn’t quite believe her eyes when I showed her a picture of William Shatner from the sixties.

The cashier was laughing and said, “Yeah, they’re both really old now. I never watched Star Trek that much.”

I could sense he was talking about Star Trek: The Next Generation because he was so young, and I said, “I grew up watching the original Star Trek.”

He looked at me with in complete astonishment as if I had just knocked the wind right out of him and said, “Wow!” 

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Quaintly Unpretentious Conversations 4: The Predator Sound

I walked outside onto my back porch to water my basil plant and oh what did I hear, but the sound of a Predator just like from my favorite movies. I thought, "Well, that definitely doesn't sound like a frog or locust, and I'm not planning on being murdered by a semi-evil alien tonight." so back inside I went.

I told my oldest daughter, Lily, and she laughed at me for a moment, but then she said with quite a straight and serious face, "I never look outside at night because I think there will be a creature staring right back at me. Why do you think I have such a heavy curtain hanging up in my room?"

Sunday, June 9, 2013

A Legacy’s Voraciousness

My birthright
Sought me rampantly
With the malignancy
Of the cursed black plague
Screeching as loudly a banshee
Blessed by four
Magnificently consecrated ravens
Under a tempestuously mystical
Monsoon’s protection
Flying mercurially in circular paths
Slightly above my house
Leaving my ablaze noumenon
Withered and maimed
As if I had been laid
Upon the Tower of London’s rack
Lacerated bit by bit
Drenched in putrefied blood
For there is no music
Upon this imprisoned Earth
That can convey this sickness
Consuming me
From our Akashic Records veracity
Oh my love,
How you have proliferated
Treachery throughout the ages
Oh lover,
How doomed you are!

For I shall shine brighter
Than a thousand suns
And when I’m done with you
Nothing shall remain
Of your petty cowardliness
That led a rebellion
Of lethiferous vengeance
To satisfy the bloodlust
Of an inexcusable maliciousness
But scorched volcanic ash
Through my vigilant paladin hands ©

Karen L. Fleming, Bound By Passion

You can now purchase my previous poetry book Through the Silent Caldera at a discounted price on Amazon. Enjoy.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Quote of Extraordinary 10: Oneness of the Universe

Quote of the Extraordinary for today: “To comprehend the oneness of the universe is to fathom each intricately uniquely divine counterpart of the microcosm that unifies the macrocosm.” ©

Karen L. Fleming, Written 4.14.13, 3:15 a.m. Est. 

Love ya all, Karen 

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Quaintly Unpretentious Conversations 3: Marvelously Contorted

My computer crashed, flat lining in the middle of constructing the poem Mephistopheles’s Halcyon. I rebooted as quickly as I could writing down all the adjustments I had made on an old envelope to my new masterpiece emerging. Iblis said quite annoyed, “It’s not fair you can write about me this way.”

I replied almost laughing, “Fine… I’ll add marvelously to the contorted to the poem. Love, light, and blessings to you.” lol
He then quite conveniently scurried away to his own lifeless realm of tenebrosity. ©
Written, 1:25 a.m. Est., 3.19.13

Monday, March 25, 2013

Mephistopheles’s Halcyon

Oh yes,
I met the marvelously contorted
Astutely gnarled dilapidated Iblis
Just a decrepit primordial hysteria
Incorporated quite conveniently
In the atramentous density
Of anemically corrupted souls
Occasionally assimilating
An obscenely satirical configuration
A monstrosity
Of an exhaustibly senile psychology
Ensnared in a bastille of mythology
Significantly expunged
From the buoyancy of humanity 

Sanguine optimism
The undeniable elixir
The utmost sovereign rhapsody
Perpetually unleashed upon the cosmos
Euphoric blessedness
The defining juncture
Of our anointed existence
Never to be revoked by any entity

Ah Mephistopheles
What a squander
Of cataclysmic vehemence you are
Surrender benevolently
Your abhorrent encumbrances of quietus
That you broadcast so boisterously
To asphyxiate without a sound
While I disentangle the virtuously marred
Submersed in your chaotically repugnant abyss ©
Karen L. Fleming, Brilliance Rains

To buy my first poetry book Through The Silent Caldera which has 5 star reviews: 

Monday, February 11, 2013

Quaintly Unpretentious Conversations 2: Idiosyncratic Phenomenon

Yesterday while we were driving through Alpharetta, Georgia there was a time slip at Wills Park about 9:15 a.m. Eastern Standard Time. Lily said as we drove by, "Mom, the wooden park is gone, it looks like they are building a baseball field."

I said, "Really... that sucks. Where are the children going to play?"
When we drove back by a few hours later I said, “Lillian the wooden park is right there. Are you sure it wasn’t there earlier?”
Lillian replied in a bit of a huff, “Yes Mom, I’m sure.”
I asked Brianna if she had saw the park missing and she said, "Yes."
Then without thinking I blurted out, “I wonder who time traveled here.”
Lily said quite aggravated, “I don’t want to know.”
I’m never really surprised any more at how strange our world really is, but what does astound me is that that most people rarely notice anything out of sync. Apparently, bizarre time slips are a foot in our universe, which many scientist have attributed to people time traveling. There have also been many whistle blowers claiming the United States has had  their manipulative time altering hands on time travel technology since the 1970's.

The next time this happens I am slamming on brakes and taking video footage, because this is actually the second time the girls and I have experience such a profoundly idiosyncratic phenomenon.
Written: 2.12.13, 2:00 a.m. Est.
Love ya all, Karen

To activate your third eye listen to this video with your ear phones on. ;)

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Orgiastic Smoothering from Through the Silent Caldera

Valentines Day is once again knocking at the doors of our souls whispering rather gently, “Love is here. Let me in dear.”

As precariously reckless as Cupid has always been he grasps the almighty wisdom that everyone must have love in their lives to survive and even pricks himself with his own mystical love laced arrow. Love is the greatest magic ever birthed into existence by the divine. We should all strive to love one another not only on Valentines Day, but each and every day of our lives; for if we blunder to embrace rapture’s flame we have failed to achieve our true transcendental nature. Enjoy.

Love ya all, Karen

Orgiastic Smothering

Encounter me instantaneously
While you still have the occasion
Adore me
For this solitary significance
And don't you dare
Disregard this fire
For this rhapsody may never
Taste this delicious again

Grasp for me
As though I may lapse
Within a second
Don't flee
To hide from your ravenous appetite
For you may never witness
Such distinct powers like mine again

Penetrate me
As you have coveted
And I vow,
I will not cower from you
Empty your essence into mine
Permitting me cautiously
To caress your flesh
That you so defiantly solicit
As a safe refuge
Overwhelm me
As I triumph over you. ©

Karen L. Fleming, Through the Silent Caldera

Poetry Vlog:

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Monday, January 21, 2013

Quaintly Unpretentious Conversations 1: Blazing Magnetar

Here is the new series I created for all those wonderful little conversations that I never want to forget. Enjoy everyone.

Love ya all, Karen
“You live your life as if you’re going to live a thousand years.” his voice whispered in my ear.
I replied to Middle Eastern spirit that I knew so well, “Yes, but you my dear blazed as brightly as a magnetar and when you failed to notice the deceptive fates that you trusted so emphatically blew your candle out.” © 12.29.12, 5:07 p.m. Est.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Never Have Writer's Block Again!

I began thinking at the beginning of the year how I could give back to everyone who reads my poetry and watches my videos, and I it occurred to me the best gift I could possibly share with everyone was how to never have writer's block again. I haven't had writer's block in eighteen years, and I thought I would share the incredible quote that changed my life in my early twenties. Enjoy everyone.

Love ya all, Karen

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Carousing Esotericism

Blood the courier of our vitality
Hence without conjecture
Flows an aphonic discourse
Into a perfectly architectured heart

An equivalently consecutive embodiment
That swirled and contorted its path
Through the thick merriment
Of Jack Daniel’s Whiskey Eggnog,
Russia’s Smirnoff twenty-one,
And of course
Mexico’s enchanting Kahlua
Considerable months before
During such
An insidiously vivacious season

Just a simply elegant recipe
On an charismatic night
Of archaic impenetrability
The ambiguous immortals of lore
Embracing the deities within
An immaculate dance of divinity’s poetry ©

Karen L. Fleming

To buy my first poetry book Through The Silent Caldera which has 5 star reviews: